Noting the 100 Things Your Kids May Never Know About

I enjoyed this list from Wired magazine: 100 Things Your Kids May Never Know About. Some are definitely true today already, some are in process and likely to be correct, a few are more future-looking and won't literally be true for a long time (if ever). Still, a good list overall.

22 Ridiculous Competitions

Check this out: Most Ridiculous Competitions, from Sports Illustrated's SI Vault area. Browse through their gallery of 22 of the most ridiculous competitions ever. If I saw some of these photos out of this context, I might have assumed they were photoshopped. Instead, I really believe each of these creative events took place. Good stuff!

A Bear On a Rope

A link to this series of photos made its way to me today... pretty funny.

This Thing Called the Internet

Classic news clip from the early days of the Internet. Pretty funny.

Chimp on a Segway

This is a funny and interesting video: Chimp on a Segway. Seems to be having a good time. Obviously loves to go fast, and seems to get the hang of it towards the end. I like how the chimp even seems concerned about his helmet at one point too.

Motivational Posters for Mark Twain, Winston Churchill, and Homer Simpson

I've seen various spoofs of the classic "motivational posters" theme over the years, most notably the de-motivational poster series. But tonight I discovered three entertaining sets posted at sloshspot:

• Mark Twain
• Winston Churchill
• Homer Simpson

Sumsing Turbo 3000 Multitask

This is a funny video, making fun of the increasing functions that devices like the iPhone can do: Sumsing Turbo 3000 Multitask.

Funny Video About Proper Sneezing Technique

Here is a funny video about the proper sneezing/coughing technique, to reduce the spread of germs and so on. It is done in the style of an educational or public service video, but it is quite funny.

A Cat and a Box

Here is a funny video about cat and a box. While I like the first half where the cat is obviously thinking over the best way to get in the box, I also got laughs from the second half where he is just kinda springing out of it!

Obama and Big Numbers: The Difference Between 100 Million and Several Trillion

Yet another great visualization of the numbers that are being tossed around in Washington these days: Obama Budget Cuts Visualization.

Bathroom Mirror Prank

I liked this at YouTube: Bathroom Mirror Prank Funny. A few times the woman even made references to vampires!

Tim Teufel Statue

I found this brief item from the Onion to by kinda funny. Baseball fans, esp. Mets fans, will get the humor here.

Cat with a Bag on its Head

This is a pretty funny video, of a cat who gets a paper bag on its head. It manages to walk around several rooms quite well. Unless I am missing something here, I find this quite interesting and consistent with the behavior of every cat I've ever had in that they get very agitated when you change furniture, introduce new objects into their living space, and so on. Based on this video, where this cat was able to navigate quite well based on memory (or so it seems), that would explain why cats don't like such changes.

Animals Who Hate Baths

This is a great series of photos of animals who hate taking a bath. Some seriously grumpy looking pets here! If I had pick my favorites, I guess I'd go with #41-39, 35-32, 24, 20 (see paws), 18, 17, and 9. (Thanks to Diana Hsieh for the link.)

Driver of Motorized Bar Stool Charged with Drunk Driving

Seriously, sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. See this report: Ohio man charged with drunken driving on bar stool. He had fifteen beers, then went riding around on his special vehicle created from a bar stool attached to a deconstructed lawn mower... see the photo if you don't believe me!

Dramatic Cupcake Dog

I don't know that I've ever seen a dog stare quite like this one: Dramatic Cupcake Dog.

Fun with the Microwave

This interesting website, Easy Mac Micro Maniac, has lots of videos of microwaving various objects just to see what happens to them. Some are more interesting than others. I'd say my favoritesare soap, gummy worms, foam football, and the one that they declared the "winner" as well... eggs! In some of the videos it takes a little time before anything interesting happens, but you know when that will be by the "meltdown" marker on their timing dial.

Amazing Photos Taken at Unusual Angles

Here is a great posting with 100 photos that each have a unique perspective because of the particular angle they were taken at, often due to the alignment of various objects in the background and foreground. These range from mildly interesting to very, very funny.

Bizkit the Sleep-walking Dog

Here are three funny videos of "Bizkit", a dog that apparently has vivid dreams:

• Video 1 - short, but with funny ending
• Video 2 - includes some barking apparently while asleep
• Video 3 - funny how the dog remains asleep while standing for a while!

Don't Buy Stuff You Cannot Afford

Funny video from SNL: Don't Buy Stuff You Cannot Afford.

Video: Everything's Amazing, Nobody's Happy

The anti-capitalist remarks at the beginning aside, this is a pretty funny video: Everything's Amazing, Nobody's Happy.

China's Andy Rooney

Another funny video from The Onion: China's Andy Rooney Has Some Funny Opinions About How Great the Chinese Government Is. Funny both politically and as satire of Rooney's style.

Weather Channel Accused of Pro-Weather Bias

Funny video from The Onion: Weather Channel Accused of Pro-Weater Bias.

New Drug for the Annoyingly Cheerful

Another funny video from The Onion: FDA Approves Depressant Drug for the Annoying Cheerful. Pretty good... but be sure to pause it at the 1:37 mark to read the six suggestions they provide for as natural treatment alternatives to the drug... very funny!

Guess What? North Korean Elections Are Free and Kim Jong Il Is the Best Leader

My latest review of the official news coming out of North Korea turned up several gems.

For instance, did you know that elections in North Korea are free and fair? Yes indeed, as Superior Election System of DPRK makes clear. Of course, no mention of the single-party nature of their system. Say hello to the elephant in the room.

And did you know that Kim Jong Il is the best modern leader? For many examples of why this is so, see Kim Jong Il, Greatest Leader of Present Era. The over-the-top language used in this article is hilarious, what with the talk of "miracles" and "innovations" (presumably like the ones involving blackouts and starvation.) The staff at The Onion couldn't have done better if they tried.

As I've said before, it will be very interesting for social scientists to study what will eventually be a "great awakening" for the people of North Korea: at some point, the communist regime there will be toppled, and this great period of darkness (literal) and misery will reverse course. It will take time for them to learn of the reality of the world and the silly and malicious nature of their government all these years, but it would be a very interesting process to watch and study when it happens.

Great Satire of Miracles

Here is a great bit of satire from The Onion: Evolutionists Flock To Darwin-Shaped Wall Stain

Onion Video About "New Sony Product"

This video from The Onion is hilarious... though WARNING, as its title implies it is full of foul language: "Sony Releases New Stupid Piece of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work".

My favorite bit from this is the description of the product as being a "time vampire". That is a great phrase!

Deleted: Apostrophes on Birmingham Street Signs

This story is pretty strange: it seems that in Birmingham they are doing away with apostrophes on street signs. I kid you not: this is not a story from The Onion. I found these two paragraphs quite funny for some reason:

Councilor Martin Mullaney, who heads the city's transport scrutiny committee, said he decided to act after yet another interminable debate into whether "Kings Heath," a Birmingham suburb, should be rewritten with an apostrophe.

"I had to make a final decision on this," he said Friday. "We keep debating apostrophes in meetings and we have other things to do."

Odd Town Names in Britain

The NY Times recently did a story about some funny-sounding names of towns in Britain. I'm sure every country has equally odd town names, but I must admit I got a laugh from this article and especially the map of England that highlights these names. I'm glad my address is Fairport, NY.

Monty Python on YouTube

I found the official Monty Python "channel" on YouTube recently. There is lots of good stuff here, including clips from their movies and their TV show. As this Gizmodo posting notes, providing free clips at YouTube has driven sales of their DVDs at Amazon -- so everybody wins!

Some of my all-time favorite bits from Monty Python are included here:

• The Killer Rabbit
• The Argument Clinic
• Ministry of Silly Walks
• Silly Olympics
• The Black Knight
• Witch Village
• The Parrott Sketch
• Constitutional Peasants
• The Knights Who Say "Ni!"
• Spam
• French Taunter

Books from North Korea

I checked the latest "news" from North Korea, and two book publishing articles caught my attention.

"Complete Collection of Kim Il Sung's Works" Vol. 78 Off Press - Wow... 78 volumes? It seems this isn't all written material, as it includes transcriptions of what were no doubt many speeches he gave during his reign. Included are such speeches/essays as "The DPRK Represents Genuine People's Power and Is a Banner of the Unity and Solidarity of the Masses" and "Let Us Shatter Imperialist Moves towards Aggression and War and Safeguard Peace and Independence".

New Books Published - This article is just too funny not to provide to you in full. The choice of over-the-top language is just stunning.

The Pyongyang Publishing House has of late brought out new books. Among them are the books "Great Man and Music" and "Questions and Answers on Songun Politics" and the full-length novel "River Rimjin" (Part one "Woman of the North").

"Great Man and Music" gives an impressive description of the peerless greatness and immortal feats of General Secretary Kim Jong Il who has left footmarks of great leadership, accompanied by music.

"Questions and Answers on Songun Politics" gives a comprehensive account of the creation and development in depth of Songun politics, its validity and invincible vitality in the question-and-answer form.

The full-length novel "River Rimjin" (Part One "Woman of the North") portrays through a vivid artistic depiction a woman who happened to part with her husband during the Fatherland Liberation War. She, with her children, grows to be a full-fledged master of the country in the bosom of the DPRK and enjoys a worthy life and happiness, living stoutly with an ardent desire for the reunification of the country.

It is hard to imagine the sense of "awakening" that citizens of North Korea will feel once their long, cruel time living under communist dictatorship finally comes to an end.

Star Wars Retold

This is a funny video... Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it). A funny idea, and well executed.

IRS Battles Over Pennies

Check out this story from a few days ago: 9-cent IRS Dilemma Leaves Lawyer Confused. This is definitely one of those stories that falls into my category of "Nearly a laugh, but really a cry".

Talk about "bigger fish to fry"... can't the IRS have software in place so that anything below, say, a few dollars gets ignored, or better yet, just considered settled? It obviously is a waste of government tax-payer dollars, not to mention this poor guy's time and money, to mess around with taxes for 4 cents or 9 cents or whatnot.

A Kitten Having Fun

A colleague of mine has posted this funny and cute YouTube video: Oscar has fun. Good work!

Cats: Slinky and Broccoli

Two more funny cat videos at YouTube (and thanks again to Diana Hsieh for the links).

eTrade Baby Commercials

One could argue that they are by now overplayed as ads on TV, but I gotta admit I still laugh at the eTrade baby commercials. Here they are:

• Blackberry
• Clown
• "You don't know how old I am"

Most would describe that third one by what happens at the end (burp), but I really like the beginning portion.

Cats vs. Printers

Here are two great YouTube videos of cats having issues with computer printers. Very funny stuff, especially the ending of the second one. (Thanks to Diana Hsieh for pointing these out!).

Star Wars vs. Star Trek Mashups

There are numerous videos at YouTube that splice together scenes from various Star Wars movies with scenes from various Star Trek episodes and movies. These range in quality quite a bit, and there is overlap in the ideas people have come up with. Thought I've not seen more than a half-dozen of these shorts, the one I can recommend is this 5-minute one: Star Wars vs. Star Trek. This one is well done, and has a good sense of humor.

Where's Sock Puppet's Bailout?

Here is a funny video from Reason posted at YouTube: Where's Sock Puppet's Bailout?

24-Hour Emergency Philosopher

This is a funny hoax: the 24-Hour Emergency Philosopher van. (Thanks Susan for the link!)

How To Fail Tests with Dignity

Here are some funny test answers: How To Fail Tests with Dignity. (Thanks mom for the info!)

iPhone Apps of the Future

Here is a funny sidebar item from the November issue of Wired: iPhone Apps We Wish Existed. Many of these ideas are pretty funny, but the last one had me LOL for sure.

The Black Hole

Here is an funny/interesting video from YouTube: The Black Hole. There is a nice twist at the end.

Otto the Octopus

Susan forwarded me this hilarious story about the genius of Otto the Octopus. Pretty funny...

Chicken Law and Order

Oddly, here is another posting on a chicken-related topic (see my last post). Here is a funny video from YouTube that is a Law and Order spoof involving chickens. (Thanks to Diana Hsieh's NoodleFood blog for alerting me to this hilarious gem!).

More US Politics Videos from The Onion

Several weeks ago I linked to some of the funnier US election/politics videos at The Onion. Here are a few more new ones to add to that list:

• Old, Grizzled Third Party Candidate May Steal Support From McCain
• Obama Promises to Stop America's Shitty Jobs From Going Oversease
• Economists Warn Anti-Bush Merchandise Market Close to Collapse

Ninja Cat is Coming for You

Here is a funny video of a cat who creeps up on the cameraman. The concept takes shape only about 20 or more seconds into the clip, so be sure to watch the entire thing.

Book Published: Frontier Experience, or Epistolary Sesquipedalian Lexiphanicism from the Occident

As some readers of this blog may know, for the past couple of years I've been working on a book project. I'm pleased to say that the book is now available in paperback from Lulu.com, and will be available from Amazon.com and other locations in the coming weeks!

This book is unlike anything you've ever seen before, so I hope you will read on...

Book Title: "Frontier Experience, or Epistolary Sesquipedalian Lexiphanicism from the Occident"
Author: J.E.L. Seneker
Original Publication Date: 1906
Editor of 2008 Edition: Thomas Stone

Book page at Lulu.com: http://www.lulu.com/content/3314857
See this webpage for a sampling from the book -- click the forward and back arrows to browse the preview, and click +/- to zoom in and out.

Brief Book Description:
J.E.L. Seneker (1848-1916) had a distinguished career in education in eastern Tennessee. He traveled to the "wild west frontier" of the 1870s, and then described his trips in letters. Here is a brief sampling:

"In former epistolary scribblements, I gave you the concatenation of concomitant circumstances initiatory to my transmigration to this remote section of the occidental portions of our columbian republican coadunation. ... In my brief swevens I endured circumvolation of pigwidgeons, cacodemons, and odible simulachres in my harns. ... I onerated my dorsal part with a portmanteau for the vectitation of my habiliments."

You get the idea: although not a long book, reading it will be a challenge. Every page comes with a handy glossary, which keeps the task from being impossible!

The letters were written in the 1870s, and the book was published in 1906 -- making this the 102nd anniversary edition!

What is my connection with this book and the author?
My grandfather had a copy of this book because we are related to the author, J.E.L Seneker. After some research, I've determined that he's my first cousin, five times removed. The book has great sentimental value to me, and I'm delighted that I can republish it and give it new life. More details are included in my editor's preface.

Who might enjoy this book?
I have no idea really. Perhaps kids preparing for spelling bees or high school students studying for standardized exams. Those interested in Deadwood-era "wild-west frontier" literature might also find it a curiosity. Perhaps linguists, philologists, American historians, or other academics will find it a curious object of study. Any word-hounds and Scrabble-lovers are also prime readers of this book. And lastly, if you are troubled by the devolution of our language through texting and instant messaging, then this book can serve as an antidote for you.

I really have no idea who will read and enjoy this book, but given an easy means to publish it, I wanted to get it out there and see what happens. I think this book is unique: the deliberately obnoxious, sometimes baffling, and completely frustrating choice of words make it so. I find it to be quite humorous to read for that reason, with many passages leaving me in stitches every time I come across them.

If you buy the book, I'll definitely be interested in hearing what you think of it.

Political Videos from The Onion

There are some funny US Politics videos these days at The Onion, including:

• Latest Poll Reveals 430 New Demographics That Will Decide Election
• Bush Tours America to Survey Damage Caused by His Disastrous Presidency
• 'No Values Voters' Looking to Support Most Evil Candidate
• Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results of 2008 Election Early
• McCain Vows to Replace Secret Service with His own Bare Fists
• Portrayal of Obama as Elitist Hailed as Step Forward for African Americans
• Poll: Bullshit is Most Important Issue for 2008 Voters
• How To Pretend You Give a Shit About the Election
• As Obese Population Rises, More Candidates Courting the Fat Vote

Priest to hold Beauty Pageant for Nuns

I read this story in my local newspaper today. The headline sounds like a joke news story that would normally run The Onion. But apparently this is a real story. There are many versions of this news item today... see the short BBC article: Priest to hold nun beauty pageant.

Spaghetti Cat

This clip from an episode of The Soup is pretty funny. If this did in fact really happen on that morning show -- what a strange thing!

Funny Videos on Stop Signs, Web Design, and Fonts

Here are some videos I've enjoyed recently:

• What if a major corporation designed a stop sign? (if you've worked in a creative role for a corporation, you'll like this one)
• The Web Design Rap (if you know HTML/web design, you'll like this)
• Font Conference (what if fonts gathered for a conference?)

Placido Polanco Chokes Up All The Way

A bit of baseball humor... see this doctored-photo and headline from the Onion: Placido Polanco Chokes Up All the Way.

Beaker does Ode To Joy

The classic Muppets character Beaker here does Ode to Joy. There is a lot going on in this video, so you might want to watch it a couple of times. See also Habanera, and Classical Chicken.

Mashup of Star Trek and Monty Python

Here are two favorites of mine, Star Trek and Monty Python, in a series of mashups at YouTube. There might be more of these, but I found these three pretty good:

• Death of Spock
• Kirk vs. French Taunter
• Going to Camelot

Abbott and Costello do Computers

Here is a clever version of Abbott and Costello's "Who's on First?" routine in the context of a modern technology conversation (thanks to Diana for posting).

Zimbabwe Has Some Inflation

Understatement of the year candidate? This AP news item included the following ridiculous tidbit:

On Thursday, Zimbabwe's central bank unveiled a new half-billion Zimbabwean dollar bank note.

The new bill and three others for 5 billion, 25 billion and 50 billion Zimbabwe dollars, called "special agro" checks intended for purchases and sales involved in farm production, were going into circulation next Tuesday, the central bank said.

Earlier this month, the bank floated the local currency exchange rate through commercial banks, where a single U.S. dollar sold Wednesday for around 240 million Zimbabwe dollars, slightly higher than the dominant black market rate for hard currency.

That change saw prices of goods soar, with unofficial estimates putting annual inflation at more than 700,000 percent.

Official inflation was given in February at 165,000 percent, and no further official figures have been released.

"Prices are now doubling every week instead of every month, and it is hard to see how we can survive to the end of June or how an election will be feasible at all if things continue to deteriorate at this pace," Harare economist John Robertson said.
The central bank said the "agro" checks, similar in appearance to the nation's existing range of bills, will be accepted by retailers and banks up to the end of the year.

The previous highest denomination bill was for 250 million Zimbabwe dollars, enough to buy about two loaves of bread.

As of press time, no word yet on whether there are any plans to start producing gazillion or kajillion dollar bills next. LOL

Cats on a Treadmill

Literally. There are many videos of this at YouTube... here is one of the best. I like how the darker cat often does a two-leg only approach. When the speed increases, the other one keeps up pretty well for a while.

Very funny, but I hope not too dangerous for the cats (wouldn't want one to get sucked under the device or otherwise stuck!).

Nothing Escapes the Grasp of YouTube

Even rather old footage can be resurrected on YouTube. Fox news man Bill O'Reilly might not have thought this footage of him flipping out ever existed, let alone still existed today.

Even worse, once something funny/embarassing gets on YouTube, there is no end. It goes viral, and spawns variations and so on, like this "dance remix" version of him flipping out.

WARNING: these vids have foul language (F-word, more). So not safe for work, yadda yadda...

The Singing Talents of Beaker

This YouTube video is pretty funny... a better title of it would have been "The Singing Talents of Beaker". It is only hilarious of course if you remember the nature of the character Beaker from the old Muppets Show.

Remember the Yip Yips?

Thanks goes to my friend Brandon for linking to a YouTube clip of the classic Yip Yips. Definitely brings back memories from childhood...

Snow Tubing Reporter

Ouch! Watch this Canadian reporter get run over by a speedy snow-tuber.

Election 2024

The March 2008 edition of Wired as a humorous look at the US Presidential Election come 2024.

I especially liked the reference to the Pakghaniran War as being "once a simple seven-sided fight between Pakistani, Afghani, and Iranian peopls of historical and irreconcilable mutual hatreds -- was becoming complicated."

Also funny -- but sadly could be prophetic -- is this: "Rodriguez vs. Chen: The nominees seemed to have opposing positions on nearly every issue. Rodriguez wanted to expanded AutoCare, the federal car-insurance entitlement for baby-boomer seniors, to include golf carts; Chen argued that mandatory car insurance was unconstitutional." If people have a right to health-care, then why not cars and car-insurance as well? (Not to mention food, housing, entertainment systems, computers with internet access, and everything else deemed necessary to live in 21st century America.)

Importing Cars in Mexico

The writers at the Onion couldn't invent a story this odd... well, maybe they could, since they are quite good at what they do. See the AP story "Mexico Abruptly Restricts Car Imports". Basically, Mexico is now only allowing car imports from a single year, 1998. All market interference by governments distort the market, but this is serious arbitrariness and micromanagement. If you live in a border state and have been sitting on a lot of 1998 model cars, you are in luck.

Which Revolves Around the Earth?

This video on YouTube is sad. And I thought education was poor in this country!

Look Who's Singing Sweet Home Alabama

Check out this YouTube video of a Finnish rock group, with Russian backing choir, singing Lynyrd Skynyrd's classic rock hit Sweet Home Alabama. The outfits on the rockers -- shoes, hair, clothes -- is also, um, impressive. I'm not sure what is going on with the women dancing either. Here is the background info posted about this video:

The Leningrad Cowboys is a Finnish rock and roll band famous for its humorous songs and concerts featuring the Soviet Red Army Choir. Currently, the band has eleven Cowboys and two Leningrad Ladies. The songs, all somewhat influenced by polka and progressive rock, and performed in English, have themes such as 'vodka', 'tractors', 'rockets', and 'Genghis Khan', as well as folkloric Russian songs, rock and roll ballads and covers from bands as diverse as The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, and Lynyrd Skynyrd, all with lots of humour.

The Red Army Choir (Choir Aleksandrov) is a performing ensemble that served as the official army choir of the former Soviet Union's Red Army. The choir consists of a male choir, an orchestra, and a dance ensemble. The songs they perform range from Russian folk tunes to Church hymns, operatic arias and popular music.In 1991, The Red Army Choir participated in Roger Waters' The Wall concert celebrating the fall of the Berlin Wall. They performed an anti-war song "Bring the Boys Back Home".Since the collapse of the Soviet Union, the Red Army Choir has continued performing, entertaining audiences both inside and outside Russia.

Well, I guess this is one way to know who won the cold war.

Don't Talk Back to Darth Vader

YouTube provides Star Wars According to a Three Year Old. Pretty cute and funny. At the end we learn that we shouldn't talk back to Darth Vader, because he'll get you!

The Prank on Kyle Kendrick

Check out the YouTube video covering the "you've been traded to Japan" prank on Phillies pitcher Kyle Kendrick. Classic!

Frozen Grand Central

This video at YouTube is incredible! I've seen other such cool mob-actions before... I believe this is an instance of a Flash Mob. This would have been great to witness first hand. I especially like the guy on the phone who is complaining that he can't drive through where he needs to go, until they people start moving again and he basically says "oh, nevermind!". Pretty funny...

North Korean News Site is Hilarious

I find this website both sad and funny -- News From Korean Central News Agency of DPRK. Sad for obvious reasons, but funny because of both the English used and the ridiculous claims made and propaganda used. Many of the stories are a funny read, here is one example: Japan Assailed for Seeking "Triangular Cooperation Mechanism for Pressure". Here is a great segment:

This is, however, nothing but the way of thinking of a bat-blind person who has neither political sense nor judgment. The above-said cooperation mechanism had been sought by its master the U.S. as early as in the 1980s only to meet bitter frustration. It is a ridiculous and foolish daydream for Japan to try to build the above-mentioned mechanism, taking advantage of the changed political situation in south Korea, in a bid to pressurize someone and achieve its sinister political aim. This only betrays Japan's ignorance of the DPRK, diplomatic inability and anachronistic way of thinking.

The Past is Gone

It is hard to note good bits from The Onion, since the majority of their items are funny and worth reading or hearing. But this one -- The Past is Gone -- really cracked me up. It is from their Weekly Radio Address series, an ongoing riff on President Bush. It starts a little slow, but then it gets going...

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

Today I discovered that there is an official website for "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey", the classic SNL quotations from years past. It has many of the best "Deep Thoughts" available as short multimedia presentations. And of course googling will get you many sites with lengthy lists of "Deep Thoughts" quotes too. Good stuff.

Dinner with Darth Vader

Or was it lunch? or just tea and biscuits? I am speaking of course of the scene in The Empire Strikes Back, where the door swings open and we see Darth Vader at the head of a table... Han instinctively draws his blaster and fires... Darth absorbs or deflects the shots with his gloved hand and then uses the force to whip Han's blaster out of his hands. We see Stormtroopers and Boba Fett appear, making it clear there is no escape. Darth then says "We would be honored, if you would join us." The treachery of Lando is then clear to Han and Leia.

That is one of my favorite scenes from the original Star Wars trilogy. I was cleaning out some old emails recently, and I found one I had sent to friends asking some probing questions about this scene... or rather, the scene that might have followed it but didn't. So I'll share my musings with you now...

So, what do Han, Leia, Chewie, Lando, Darth Vader and the others talk about after the door closes? The table is all set up, with "some refreshments" presumably... what does a Dark Lord of the Sith serve to guests I wonder? I assume Darth doesn't eat or drink anything, unless its through a tube, but what does he offer Han and his friends?

Does Darth get up and seat Leia (his daughter, unknowingly)? Or isn't he a gentleman in this context? Or does he let Han do it?

Does Darth care about table manners? Like, if Chewie puts his elbows on the table while he's eating crackers and cheese, will Darth bellow forth "Uhum...excuse me?!"

Does Darth have a favorite wine, cheese, or other snack that he is serving? Did he prepare the food himself, or threaten an underling with choking if they didn't whip it together on short notice? Or did he tell Lando to have Lobot do it?

As for the conversation, Han would probably start things off poorly, with a crack like "So, Darth, have you recovered from the Death Star loss yet? That was me and Chewie here that blew that one for you. We killed your left wingman and snagged you right out of that channel you know!" ... That would explain why Vader then tortures Han without "asking him any questions" later... he is upset about this wise-crack at brunch!

I just wonder about these things...

Postmodern Art Has Its Sokal Affair Moment

This is classic. So-called "postmodern art" has its version of the Sokal Affair that struck postmodern writers a decade ago. It seems a two-year old's paintings (sometimes using paint, sometimes using ketchup), along with his mom's over-the-top-but-typical blather as descriptions for each piece, have fooled some "art critics". This is so funny, because it is so pathetic. As Pink Floyd once said, "nearly a laugh, but really a cry."

When will postmodernist writing and postmodern art go away as fads? Now wouldn't be soon enough.

One Way to Slow People Down

Here is a neat and funny idea from the folks at Amazing Things: Speed Limit Device.

Windows Home Server -- Latest Marketing is Kinda Funny

Not hugely funny, but not bad either. Here is some new Microsoft marketing videos for Windows Home Server. On the left there are four videos, a brief intro and three themed videos. Then on the bottom right check out the fake children's book that explains about home servers -- a clever idea. My favorite line is about the uncle who smells like bark.

I haven't yet bought my Windows Home Server, but I will be doing so very soon, as I've been waiting all year for them to be released.

Kant Attack Ad

Here is a funny parody of modern day presidential attack ads: an attack ad against German philosopher Immanuel Kant.

From MST3K to RiffTrax

I was pleased to learn (thanks Stu Bushman) that many of the people behind MST3K have returned to what made they successful in the 1990s: making funny comments during movies. I assume most readers of this blog will remember the wonderful TV series Mystery Science Theatre 3000 (see wikipedia entry), which ran for many years on Comedy Central and then the Sci-Fi network, where a human and two robots appeared as wise-cracking sillohuettes overlayed on really bad movies mostly from the 1950s-1970s. It was one of my favorite shows during my college years in the early 90s, and I continued to enjoy it until it was finally cancelled in 1999.

Well, Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbet and several others involved in the MST3K are now doing much the same thing with their RiffTrax service. Gone are the sillohuettes and robots, but the basic idea remains: funny commentary while you watch a movie, or now also some popular TV episodes too. One big difference is that rather than picking on easy targets like Ed Wood movies and other cinematic bombs, they are taking on some of the most popular films of all time. Take a look at their site for a sample of what they are riffing on these days.

Their work isn't free -- seems like it $3.99 per movie. I haven't bought any yet, as I'm too busy and have too much of a backlog of other entertainment to watch right now. But I liked the couple of samples I saw on their homepage (refresh the page to see a few of them)... so I'll probably buy a few rifftrax at some point, to see their comedic take on some of my favorite movies.

Who's On First and Star Wars

Even though I have it memorized by now, I still laugh when I hear Abbott and Costello's famous "Who's on first?" routine. But I was delighted to discover a version that merges the audio of this routine with video clip footage of Yoda and a lesser Star Wars character. Although its only a small part of the routine, its enough.

Spinning the Un-Spinnable

This past Sunday's USA Weekend magazine had a pretty funny piece called "Bad rap? Hire a publicist!" It presents how a modern day publicist might try to put a good face on the behavior of Cleopatra, Genghis Khan, Ivan the Terrible, King Henry VIII, and John Wilkes Booth.

Greeks vs. Germans

Here is an all-time classic Monty-Python Bit, German Philosophers vs. Greek Philosophers in soccer/football. This one gets me laughing everytime, and there are so many great inside jokes, I catch something new each time I see it. This version is a bit longer than others I've seen in the past, so I'm glad to have found the link (thanks to Brandon Heffernan for that!).

Unfortunate Web Domain Names

From the September 4, 2007 issue of PC Magazine we get a hilarious sidebar "The 6 Most Unfortunate Web Domain Names":

• Children's Wear = childrenswear.co.uk
• IHA Vegas = ihavegas.com
• ipAnywhere = ipanywhere.com
• Mole Station Nursery = molestationnursery.com
• Therapist Finder = therapistfinder.com
• ViaGrafix = viagrafix.com

Family Fun Movie: The Shining

My friend Steve Davala linked to a great fake-trailer for the classic horror movie, The Shining. Here it is at YouTube... hilarious.

Exploding Dog

No, its not at all what it sounds like. Take a look at some of the cartoons from "Exploding Dog". This creator has two interesting things going with these cartoons. First, his illustration style is so simplistic, it can be quite emotionally provoking (sometimes). Second, he creates his cartoons based on single phrases or sentences that people submit to him as ideas. I don't like all of what he has come up with, but I found some of them to be interesting.

Ripping on Windows Vista

Here is a funny YouTube video that rips on Windows Vista. Some clever jabs there. I have one computer with Vista, and don't have any major gripes actually. But I still found this video kinda funny.

Fun with Analyzing Homeric Speech

I enjoyed this writeup that analyzing the figures of speech of Homer Simpson. (Thanks to GeekPress for the link.)

Top 25 from MXC

I used to watch MXC semi-regularly. That is the crazy Japanese physical-stunts show, where people often have some pretty bad falls. The version we get here in America is re-dubbed with narration of two guys with American voices, and much of their play-by-play is pretty funny -- on the show, sometimes their storylines about the contestants are even funnier than what the participants are doing. But the best are the falls... and here is a video with 25 of the all-time best.

Sports Bloopers

Here is a quick YouTube video of sports bloopers that I mostly hadn't seen before. The last one of course, who hasn't seen that? But the others were new for me... the pole-vaulting one is deceptive, until you see it the second time in slow motion.

Classic Humor, Part 16: Lawyer Q&A

Here is another in my series of classic humor bits from the Internet (here is Part 15), which I'm posting as I clean out my old Humor email box. This item dates back to 2001. These were said to be from a book called "Disorder in the Court".

Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year.

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you? A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning? A: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?' Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan.

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult? A: We both do. Q: Voodoo? A: We do. Q: You do? A: Yes, voodoo.

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? A: Yes. Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there any girls?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual? A: He was about medium height and had a beard. Q: Was this a male, or a female?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to? A: Oral.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. Q: But could the patient have still been alive, never the less? A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere.

How much did they feed these animals?

See this series of photos for some sadly obese pets. The photos made me laugh in amazement, but really these are sad to see. Yikes...

The Amazing Randi on YouTube

I was recently poking around YouTube and found the many great James Randi video clips where he debunks and shows to be frauds various supposed psychics and other mystics. Here are some worth seeing:

• James Randi exposes Uri Geller and Peter Popoff - I esp. love how Randi used radio equipment to expose the religious faith-healer Popoff as a fraud, and that Popoff then went into bankruptcy... alas, Popoff is back to his con-man ways, see below for the latest.
• James Randi exposes James Hydrick - this is classic... what a clown Hydrick looks like in his outfit, and then with his claims about why he can't perform during the test.
• James Randi explains Homeopathy - this stuff is such nonsense. So many believers in its effectiveness are so deluded. Placebo effect, anyone?
• James Randi on Astrology - short, but effective, refutation of astrology (as if it needs refuting, LOL)
• James Randi and a Medium - Randi manages to make some very important points in the Q&A in this one.
• Peter Popoff vs. James Randi 2007 - from Inside Edition. This covers his latest con, the Miracle Water nonsense. A great exposing of this criminal con-man! This one is the best of this group... if you just watch one of these, WATCH THIS ONE!

"Quotable"... or not?

Here is a funny blog, The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks. Some really funny examples given here, and the commentary on them is good too. And this blog seems to be getting an incredible number of submissions! (Thanks to GeekPress for the link.)

River Tam Action Flick

This is a great comic for Firefly fans. (Thanks to Rational Jenn for the link.)

Cone of Uncertainty

Does anyone else get a laugh when they hear a weather-person use the phrase "cone of uncertainty" to describe a hurricane's range of potential paths? I looked Cone of Uncertainty up on Wikipedia, and -- no surprise -- they have an entry. It didn't mention its application in this weather context, but rather discussed what is claimed to be the phrase's earliest use in project management.

Why do I find this phrase humorous? For some reason whenever I hear it I imagine all sorts of weird things, such as a literal cone hat -- like a dunce cap -- that someone who lacks of confidence in debate or argument might be forced to wear by an aggressive teacher. Such a thing could be called the "Cone of Uncertainty". Or perhaps it could be a weapon in a role-playing game, that when used on an opponent renders them uncertain of what action to take next, thereby allowing you or a friendly to do some real damage. Cone of Uncertainty... it just sounds funny to me.

Bathroom Ideas

I found Joel Stein's opinion piece "The Impossible Dream" to be pretty funny. He had a grand plan to install a urinal in his home, and he describes his research into this idea. (Thanks to GeekPress for the link.)

Headstone Humor

This headstone epitaph is pretty funny. (Thanks to Radley Balko for this link.)

The Death Star Conspiracy Theory

Along the lines of various other conspiracy theories out there, this one about the Death Star from the first Star Wars movie is hilarious. (Thanks to GeekPress for this.)

Flowcharts for Science and Faith

Here are two good flowcharts showing a methodological difference between science and faith. Classic. (Thanks to GeekPress for this.)

Classic Humor, Part 15: New Meanings, New Words

Here is another in my series of classic humor bits from the Internet (here is Part 14), which I'm posting as I clean out my old Humor email box. This item dates back to 2001.

"The Washington Post recently published a contest for readers (some of whom may have been bookdealers!) in which they were asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. The following were some of the winning entries:

• Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
• Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
• Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent
• Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
• Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightie.
• Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
• Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
• Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
• Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
• Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
• Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
• Semantics (n.), pranks conducted by young men studying for the priesthood, including such things as gluing the pages of the priest's prayer book together just before vespers.
• Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
• Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
• Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
• Frisbatarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.

The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, sub-tracting or changing one letter and supply a new definition. Here are some recent winners:

• Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the reader who doesn't get it.
• Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
• Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very high.
• Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex.
• Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously.
• Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
• Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these, really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer.
• Glibido: All talk and no action.
• Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
• Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the Taxation Office, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

And, best of all... Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid AND an a**hole."

The Saga of Pecker McNugget

This is almost too funny to believe. If I didn't know it were true, I wouldn't believe it -- or I'd think it was something from The Onion or a similar site. But my friend and work colleague Tim Fressie has had a bit of an issue with some town officials regarding a rooster on his property. Hearing Tim tell the tale is far funnier than this local newspaper story, but this story is still a worthwhile read. I particularly like how the reporter finds ample opportunity to mention the name of the rooster, Pecker McNugget.