Many Star Wars Photos I'd Never Seen Before!

This is really great, a series of photos from Star Wars -- behind the scenes and so on -- that I for one had never seen before. Great fun.

The Cantina Band Theme on the Harp

Check out Creighton Griffiths playing the theme from the Star Wars Cantina Band on the Harp! Well done! I watched a few of the related videos listed here, and found these other two Cantina Band versions by others: on the Chapman Stick and on the Piano. My favorite is the harp though... he looks to be the youngest of the three (impressive!), plus I'm just a fan of the harp as an instrument anyway.

Star Wars Retold

This is a funny video... Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it). A funny idea, and well executed.

Star Wars vs. Star Trek Mashups

There are numerous videos at YouTube that splice together scenes from various Star Wars movies with scenes from various Star Trek episodes and movies. These range in quality quite a bit, and there is overlap in the ideas people have come up with. Thought I've not seen more than a half-dozen of these shorts, the one I can recommend is this 5-minute one: Star Wars vs. Star Trek. This one is well done, and has a good sense of humor.

Upcoming Clone Wars

Here is a brief news item on the upcoming Star Wars: Clone Wars movie and TV-series. At the official site you can also see a series of videos, including most notably the trailer and an brief introduction piece that explains the context for this material.

Don't Talk Back to Darth Vader

YouTube provides Star Wars According to a Three Year Old. Pretty cute and funny. At the end we learn that we shouldn't talk back to Darth Vader, because he'll get you!

Dinner with Darth Vader

Or was it lunch? or just tea and biscuits? I am speaking of course of the scene in The Empire Strikes Back, where the door swings open and we see Darth Vader at the head of a table... Han instinctively draws his blaster and fires... Darth absorbs or deflects the shots with his gloved hand and then uses the force to whip Han's blaster out of his hands. We see Stormtroopers and Boba Fett appear, making it clear there is no escape. Darth then says "We would be honored, if you would join us." The treachery of Lando is then clear to Han and Leia.

That is one of my favorite scenes from the original Star Wars trilogy. I was cleaning out some old emails recently, and I found one I had sent to friends asking some probing questions about this scene... or rather, the scene that might have followed it but didn't. So I'll share my musings with you now...

So, what do Han, Leia, Chewie, Lando, Darth Vader and the others talk about after the door closes? The table is all set up, with "some refreshments" presumably... what does a Dark Lord of the Sith serve to guests I wonder? I assume Darth doesn't eat or drink anything, unless its through a tube, but what does he offer Han and his friends?

Does Darth get up and seat Leia (his daughter, unknowingly)? Or isn't he a gentleman in this context? Or does he let Han do it?

Does Darth care about table manners? Like, if Chewie puts his elbows on the table while he's eating crackers and cheese, will Darth bellow forth "Uhum...excuse me?!"

Does Darth have a favorite wine, cheese, or other snack that he is serving? Did he prepare the food himself, or threaten an underling with choking if they didn't whip it together on short notice? Or did he tell Lando to have Lobot do it?

As for the conversation, Han would probably start things off poorly, with a crack like "So, Darth, have you recovered from the Death Star loss yet? That was me and Chewie here that blew that one for you. We killed your left wingman and snagged you right out of that channel you know!" ... That would explain why Vader then tortures Han without "asking him any questions" later... he is upset about this wise-crack at brunch!

I just wonder about these things...

Who's On First and Star Wars

Even though I have it memorized by now, I still laugh when I hear Abbott and Costello's famous "Who's on first?" routine. But I was delighted to discover a version that merges the audio of this routine with video clip footage of Yoda and a lesser Star Wars character. Although its only a small part of the routine, its enough.

The Death Star Conspiracy Theory

Along the lines of various other conspiracy theories out there, this one about the Death Star from the first Star Wars movie is hilarious. (Thanks to GeekPress for this.)

Classic Humor, Part 11: Instructions

Here is another in my series of classic humor bits from the Internet (here is Part 10), which I'm posting as I clean out my old Humor email box. This listing dates back to 1998:

20 lines from Star Wars that can be improved if you substitute the word 'pants'.
1. A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt this was in the presence of my old master.
2. We've got to be able to get some reading on those pants, up or down.
3. She must have hidden the plans in her pants. Send a detachment down to retrieve them. See to it personally, Commander.
4. These pants may not look like much, kid, but they've got it where it counts.
5. I find your lack of pants disturbing.
6. These pants contain the ultimate power in the universe. I suggest we use it.
7. Han will have those pants down. We've got to give him more time!
8. General Veers, prepare your pants for a surface assault.
9. Lock the door. And hope they don't have pants.
10. I used to bulls-eye Womp-rats in my pants back home.
11. Governor Tarkin. I should have recognised your foul pants when I was brought on board.
12. You look strong enough to pull the pants off a Gundark!
13. That blast came from those pants! That thing's operational!
14. Don't worry. Chewie and I have gotten into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.
15. Maybe you'd like it back in your pants, your highness.
16. Jabba doesn't have time for smugglers who drop their pants at the first sign of an Imperial Cruiser.
17. Yeah, well short pants are better then no pants at all, Chewie.
18. Attention. This is Lando Callrissean. The Empire has taken control of my pants. I advise everyone to leave before more troops arrive.
19. I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.
20. You came in those pants? You're braver then I thought.

Star Wars Parody by Robot Chicken

There was a great Star Wars parody special (by Robot Chicken) the other night on Adult Swim. So many great skits! Here it is in three parts on YouTube:

• Part 1 (8:07)
• Part 2 (8:15)
• Part 3 (6:42)

And here are shorter ones (duplicate from above):

• Vader calls the emperor
• Vader tells Luke the truth
• Bush vs. Star Wars
• Brief trailer for the show

And then for good measure, here is a Star Trek one by Robot Chicken as well... its a little intense, so you are warned!

Crazy Chinese Subtitles for Revenge of the Sith

Gotta laugh at these crazy chinese translation subtitles for Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith. No comment necessary!

Darth Vader Hot Air Balloon

Check this out for a laugh... three photos of a Darth Vader hot-air balloon.

Best Movie Weapons

The November issue of Wired Magazine had a brief article Supercool Weapons from Movies. Here they give their top-1o list, and some of my favorites from their list include:

• (1) the double-bladed lightsaber from Star Wars 1: The Phantom Menace
• (3) the glaive from Krull
• (4) Inigo Montoya's father's sword from The Princess Bride
• (5) Proton Pack from Ghostbusters
• (10) M41A pulse rifle taped to a flamethrower from Aliens

Another good listing I found was a blog entry at the RocketBoy Chronicles, almost a year ago. This writer starts off with the glaive from Krull, but then also includes other favorites of mine like Wolverine's claws, Dirty Harry's .44 Magnum, the Hattori Hanzo sword from the Kill Bill movies, The One Ring from the LOTR movies, and then of course concludes with the light sabers from the six Star Wars movies.

For me, when I think great movie weapons, the SW light saber is the first that comes to mind. Surely that has to be on everyone's top-10 list somewhere. It was just so innovative, and well-executed, even back in 1977.

For me, the Krull glaive would definitely also have come to mind, as would Ripley's taped together arsenal from Aliens. But if you'd asked me this question two days ago, I don't think I'd have immediately thought of Inigo's sword, the One Ring, or the Proton Pack -- but I definitely like those selections.

Darth Vader as Grocery Store Manager

If you are like me, and I know I am...

... then you too are behind on viewing funny Darth Vader clips at YouTube. Here is a four-parter that shows what Darth Vader would be like as a Grocery Store manager. Watch them in order, as there are a few plot lines involved. (These are about 5 minutes each.)

• Chad Vader: Day Shift Manager, Part 1
• Chad Vader: Day Shift Manager, Part 2
• Chad Vader: Night Shift Manager, Part 3
• Chad Vader: Night Shift Manager, Part 4

In my view, the best moments are the direct quotes from Vader from the movies that they managed to include. Good stuff...

Two Vader Edits

It seems a day doesn't go by that I don't find or get sent another hilarious video clip. Today's two treasures are via my friend Branden Heffernan's fine blog. The videos in question are hosted at the increasingly valuable site YouTube of course. They are edits of various clips of Darth Vader from the original Star Wars movie, with bits of dialogue from James Earl Jones from various other movies replacing most of Vader's actual lines. The results are surprisingly good.

The first one is shorter, and is pretty good... I particularly like the ending.

The second one is the must see though. It is longer, and is consistently hilarious throughout.

Of course, it helps you can recognize the various other films that the Jones dialogue is from, but even minus that, these would still be pretty funny I think.

Darth Vader as the Black Knight

Check out this video, an outstanding combination of Star Wars and Monty Python.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leEsz9ci5XE

This is probably one of the five funniest short videos I've ever seen on the Internet.

Worst Job Ever - Death Star Laser Tunnel Duty

A recent blog entry over at Tech Republic drew my attention to an old webpage that calculates how much power would be needed for the Death Star (from Star Wars) to actually destroy the planet Alderaan.

While the math and commentary is interesting stuff, I am really blogging on this as an excuse to note that in my humble opinion, the very worst job that I've ever seen is that of what I call "The Laser Tunnel Duty" guys. This math just furthers this belief. See this pic and notice the guys on the left. Unfortunately for the second guy, I don't think that covering your face with your arm is going to help much.

Lusting Spiderman on the Millennium Falcon

That is apparently what I am: a lusting spiderman on the Millennium Falcon. At least, according to the following three online quizzes (thanks to Shawn Klein for pointing them out). There are a gazillion such personality quizzes available... the better ones can be fun, and sometimes the results ring partially true. But at least some of the questions are always silly, loaded, or otherwise flawed (I found the 7 deadly sins one particularly flawed, in part because I so disagree with the doctrine). So... paraphrasing (from memory) what Seinfeld once said to George "Well, I'm not really sure how scientifically valid these really are."

For a more realistic personality test, I recommend the Miers-Briggs Type Indicator test. In late summer 2004, I had occassion to take this test. I was skeptical that it could tell me anything interesting about myself, or that it might even be at all accurate. I was amazed by the results. In terms of the 16 types, I am an ENTJ: Extravert (moderate), Intution (slight), Thinking (clear), Judging (very clear). The detailed "facets" report was amazingly accurate and enlightening at the same time.

But anyway...

My results from the Superhero Quiz:

Spider-Man		65%
The Flash		55%
Green Lantern		50%
Robin		45%
Superman		40%
Wonder Woman		40%
Supergirl		30%
Iron Man		25%
Catwoman		20%
Hulk		15%
Batman		10%

My results from the Sci-Fi Crew:

Millennium Falcon (Star Wars)		88%
Serenity (Firefly)		88%
Andromeda Ascendant (Andromeda)		63%
Nebuchadnezzar (The Matrix)		63%
Enterprise D (Star Trek)		56%
Moya (Farscape)		56%
Babylon 5 (Babylon 5)		56%
SG-1 (Stargate)		44%
Galactica (Battlestar: Galactica)		38%
FBI's X-Files Division (The X-Files)		19%
Deep Space Nine (Star Trek)		19%
Bebop (Cowboy Bebop)		19%

My results from the 7 Deadly Sins quiz:

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	Very Low
Sloth:	Low
Envy:	Very Low
Lust:	High
Pride:	Low